O.J. “Juice” Simpson Morphs into Cookie Monster
commentary by Patrick H. Moore
We’ve long known that O.J. Simpson lacks the essential quality one needs to stay on the right side of the law — self-control. At the same time, it’s hard to deny that the aging alleged murderer has cojones . This was clearly demonstrated when he recently represented himself in a Nevada Court of Appeals at which he protested his 2008 33-year-sentence for kidnapping and armed robbery, and actually managed to get several of his counts of conviction reversed. Although he will remain incarcerated for at least another 4-years, I will bet you that the day will come when the Juice is once again a free man, that is, if he doesn’t eat himself to death.
In that vein, Fox Sports reports:
The 66-year-old Simpson was reportedly caught by guards recently at Nevada’s Lovelock Correctional Center trying to steal more than a dozen oatmeal cookies, a violation of prison rules. According to the Daily Mail, “Guards noticed the 66-year-old hiding something under his prison clothes as he walked back to his cell after lunch.”
Simpson was reportedly let off with only a warning, but suffered humiliation at the hands of fellow inmates.
Fox Sports then quotes the National Enquirer:
Doctors had previously warned O.J., a severe diabetic, to clean up his diet and start exercising more — or he could be dead within months.
“But the temptation of the cookies in the prison chow line was too much for him,”said the source. “O.J. has been trying to diet since the doctors talked to him, but he loves sweets, and after a few weeks he couldn’t take it anymore.”
The Enquirer went on to say:
“Everyone thought he had smuggled in a cell phone or some other kind of contraband, so when the guard started pulling cookies out of O.J.’s shirt, the other inmates started laughing so hard they nearly fell over,” said the source. “O.J. just stood there with a goofy grin on his face as the guard kept digging inside his shirt and throwing the cookies on the floor.”
Simpson reportedly weighs in the neighborhood of 300 pounds and has high blood pressure.
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It’s easy to forget — given the 2008 armed robbery conviction and the fact that most people believe Simpson murdered Nicole Simpson Brown and Ron Goldman — that the Juice was not only a Hall of Fame football player but also enjoyed a very successful acting career before he derailed himself by not being able to control his dark passions. I know that I should probably despise him like so many of us do for the evil things he’s allegedly done but I just can’t bring myself to. I remember his cheery screen presence in “The Naked Gun” as if it were yesterday.
I guess the fact of the matter is that I sometimes have a character flaw when it comes to murderers. I realize I should castigate them but oftentimes I do not. On the other hand, I think it is fair to say that a great many crime fans take great pleasure in hating certain killers. For example, I would wager that the vast majority of the Karla Homolka “haters”, and they are legion, thoroughly enjoy despising the enigmatic murderess.
Note: There are more recent reports that Simpson may be suffering from a brain tumor. Whatever bad stuff he has done in his life, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
Click here to view our previous post on O.J. Simpson
O.J. Simpson Demands a New Trial: He May Be Old and Grey but the “Juice” Still Has Swag
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The legacy of O.J…
While I don’t like the man, I can’t say that I despise him. He is an example of what happens when we idolize a normal man and sit him on a pedestal of perfection. What I do despise is the disastrous media circus that was supposed to be his murder trial, and his absolute arrogance in then writing a book about how he would have killed Nicole “if” he’d done it.
Something went wrong with O.J. and he became so cold and so self-absorbed. He’s paid a heavy price but not as heavy a price as Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldmund (sp?).
His original trial was certainly one of the first major media circuses.
Interesting coincidence, how four famous killers (alleged 🙂 all born July 09, OJ Simpson, Amanda Knox, Jodi Arias and Courtney Love, and two of them both wrongfully acquitted Oct. 03? What, the odds?
Gee, “Naseer”, who did Love kill? I don’t recall the trial details…I’ll have to ask some mentally stable person to fill me in. Hint hint…not asking you anything about the trial.
One originally good-looking guy and three attractive woman (each in different ways).
There are lots of unsubstantiated rumors about Courtney Love but I don’t believe there’s a smoking gun suggesting anything heinous on her part. Many of us believe Knox is innocent. Arias should probably have been convicted of 2nd-degree murder.
As for O.J.: he may be the only one of these four who arguably should have been convicted of 1st-degree murder and even with him, a strong argument could be made that Murder II was more applicable (crime of passion).
Courtney love? Uh no.
Uh, Veruca, before you say uh, no, ask yourself how someone who had ingested 225 mgs of heroin could pick up a gun and shoot himself http://www.justiceforkurt.com/investigation/dmdpt/
Dead men don’t pull triggers.
Whatever. It wasn’t Courtney. Please, save it. Thank you.
Don’t tell me what to say. Fuck off, thank you.